I recently have been reading the Anne of Green Gables series. I had never read it before, and here I am at 28, a mother to 3 children, reading a book meant for girls/preteens. I probably would have looked at these books much differently as a girl then as a mother. Then again, maybe not.
But one thing it reminded me of was the origin of Gabe and I. The goings on between Gilbert and Anne made me reminisce on how Gabe and I got to where we are now.
I'm pretty sure the only romantic novel I've read since being married was Mansfield Park, but that really didn't bring home my past.
Here I am reading about how Anne denies being in love with Gilbert and I'm thinking, 'You stupid girl, don't you know what you have in front of you!' Then I realize, that was me.
Gabe and I started out as friends, which turned into really great friends. We did a lot together. Then one dark car ride, he told me how he felt, but all I could do was shut him down, because my heart wasn't into it. It's not because I had an ideal man in mind, like Anne, it's because I had been let down by someone else and my heart was still mending. I let him down as peacefully as anyone could be let down, but I'm pretty sure I ripped his heart apart anyway. Granted, in the book, Gilbert asks Anne to marry him, but back then you didn't really date, you maybe courted, then you got engaged pretty soon afterwards. Anne and Gilbert were so close that everyone assumed that they were going to marry. Gabe and I were so close that I'm pretty sure our friends assumed we were dating, even though we claimed we were just friends. (For crying out loud, I took that poor man to a chick flick and we weren't even dating. I'm pretty sure he would go through hell and back for me.)
Gabe held out. He continued to be my friend, but I'm pretty sure it pained him to.
Then after 6 months of him holding out (I'm pretty sure he was on the verge of giving up), I decided to give it a go. I remember a fateful late night, in an empty zoo parking lot, where I told him that I wanted to try. We had our first "official" date on February 14th, 2008.
Within a month, I knew he was the real deal. We got engaged August 9th of that year. (He proposed at the Denver Botanic Gardens, in case anyone was interested).
Reading about this budding romance, has made me think and feel about how it was to fall in love. The butterflies, the excitement of it all. Now my love is solid, unwavering, and forever. It's engraved upon my heart and into the depths of my soul. However, love feels much different now, then it did 6 years ago. I sometimes miss the adventure that is falling in love, and for those who are in the process of doing that should grasp at it and hold on tight, because that feeling is once in a life time. It fades away like the morning dew in the sun, but becomes something more, something bigger.
'Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare,
like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend
through quiet ways; prehaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden
shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music,
perhaps...perhaps...love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship,
as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath.'
~Anne of Avonlea
