My littlest of children, upon your arrival in this world all you did was slumber,
little did I know that this was only a ruse.
Now that you are 18 months old, I can't imagine a day that you did not move, because frankly, that's all you ever do.
Ever since you started to walk, it didn't take you long to run and that's all you and I have been doing ever since.
Please, don't climb that book shelf, don't take that knife off the counter,
We don't need you gushing blood, it's really not becoming of you.
I sometimes fear to leave the room, lest I see you on the dining table throwing crayons and markers about, whilst dancing in a merry circle.
No don't climb into the tub, there's no water and I'm not giving you a bath. Don't spit your chewed up cheese all over the floor, if you don't like it don't put it in to begin with.
'Don't hit your sisters! Don't throw blocks at their heads! I know you can scream louder then your sisters!' I find myself saying over and over each day.
Your mood swings are something to behold, they leave me wretched and full of scorn.
At times you laugh with such passion, only to have it turn into fits of rage and utter agony.
Lets not forget me waking each morning, 5:30 to be precise, at you screaming bloody hell for only God know why.
This past week, you've decided that you will only nap 10 minutes here, maybe 30 minutes there. Then I would hold you for about an hour, as you cried in despair because 10 minutes is just not enough.
It's only a matter of time before I lose complete control of my mind and go bat shit crazy. But maybe I already have, I just am in denial.
There are times when I want to curl up in a ball and cry because taking care of you has been the most exhausting adventure I have ever encountered.
Your sisters were nothing compared to you, and that's saying something, because Maddy wasn't a walk in the park.
I hope it doesn't get worse, I hope it gets better. But right now, it's just worse and takes every bit of energy I have.
I'll keep fighting, because when you laugh, it's as if you laugh with every bit of passion a small being can conjure up. There's no medium ground with you, it's either high or low.
Your deep blue eyes bring me hope of a man who can change the world and can love without fail.
My only hope, is that I don't fail you.
