An Ode to Davey

 Disclaimer: this really isn't much of an ode or anything poetic to be precise, just mostly ramblings of having a little boy.



My littlest of children, upon your arrival in this world all you did was slumber,
little did I know that this was only a ruse.

Now that you are 18 months old, I can't imagine a day that you did not move, because frankly, that's all you ever do.

Ever since you started to walk, it didn't take you long to run and that's all you and I have been doing ever since.

Please, don't climb that book shelf, don't take that knife off the counter, 
We don't need you gushing blood, it's really not becoming of you.

I sometimes fear to leave the room, lest I see you on the dining table throwing crayons and markers about, whilst dancing in a merry circle.

No don't climb into the tub, there's no water and I'm not giving you a bath.  Don't spit your chewed up cheese all over the floor, if you don't like it don't put it in to begin with.

'Don't hit your sisters!  Don't throw blocks at their heads! I know you can scream louder then your sisters!' I find myself saying over and over each day.

Your mood swings are something to behold, they leave me wretched and full of scorn.
At times you laugh with such passion, only to have it turn into fits of rage and utter agony.

Lets not forget me waking each morning, 5:30 to be precise, at you screaming bloody hell for only God know why.

This past week, you've decided that you will only nap 10 minutes here, maybe 30 minutes there.  Then I would hold you for about an hour, as you cried in despair because 10 minutes is just not enough.

It's only a matter of time before I lose complete control of my mind and go bat shit crazy.  But maybe I already have, I just am in denial.  

There are times when I want to curl up in a ball and cry because taking care of you has been the most exhausting adventure I have ever encountered.

Your sisters were nothing compared to you, and that's saying something, because Maddy wasn't a walk in the park.

I hope it doesn't get worse, I hope it gets better.  But right now, it's just worse and takes every bit of energy I have.

 I'll keep fighting, because when you laugh, it's as if you laugh with every bit of passion a small being can conjure up.  There's no medium ground with you, it's either high or low.

Your deep blue eyes bring me hope of a man who can change the world and can love without fail.

My only hope, is that I don't fail you. 

 

Love Unfolding Naturally

So...it's been awhile since I've written a post, but recently I've been inspired.  I don't write well when not inspired.  It just looks like a mess of words puked out onto paper (or computer screen).

I recently have been reading the Anne of Green Gables series.  I had never read it before, and here I am at 28, a mother to 3 children, reading a book meant for girls/preteens.  I probably would have looked at these books much differently as a girl then as a mother.  Then again, maybe not.

But one thing it reminded me of was the origin of Gabe and I. The goings on between Gilbert and Anne made me reminisce on how Gabe and I got to where we are now.  
I'm pretty sure the only romantic novel I've read since being married was Mansfield Park, but that really didn't bring home my past.

Here I am reading about how Anne denies being in love with Gilbert and I'm thinking, 'You stupid girl, don't you know what you have in front of you!'  Then I realize, that was me.

Gabe and I started out as friends, which turned into really great friends.  We did a lot together.  Then one dark car ride, he told me how he felt, but all I could do was shut him down, because my heart wasn't into it.  It's not because I had an ideal man in mind, like Anne, it's because I had been let down by someone else and my heart was still mending.  I let him down as peacefully as anyone could be let down, but I'm pretty sure I ripped his heart apart anyway.  Granted, in the book, Gilbert asks Anne to marry him, but back then you didn't really date, you maybe courted, then you got engaged pretty soon afterwards.  Anne and Gilbert were so close that everyone assumed that they were going to marry.  Gabe and I were so close that I'm pretty sure our friends assumed we were dating, even though we claimed we were just friends.  (For crying out loud, I took that poor man to a chick flick and we weren't even dating.  I'm pretty sure he would go through hell and back for me.)

Gabe held out.  He continued to be my friend, but I'm pretty sure it pained him to.

Then after 6 months of him holding out (I'm pretty sure he was on the verge of giving up), I decided to give it a go.  I remember a fateful late night, in an empty zoo parking lot, where I told him that I wanted to try.  We had our first "official" date on February 14th, 2008. 

Within a month, I knew he was the real deal.  We got engaged August 9th of that year.  (He proposed at the Denver Botanic Gardens, in case anyone was interested).

Reading about this budding romance, has made me think and feel about how it was to fall in love.  The butterflies, the excitement of it all.  Now my love is solid, unwavering, and forever.  It's engraved upon my heart and into the depths of my soul.  However, love feels much different now, then it did 6 years ago.  I sometimes miss the adventure that is falling in love, and for those who are in the process of doing that should grasp at it and hold on tight, because that feeling is once in a life time.  It fades away like the morning dew in the sun, but becomes something more, something bigger.

'Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare,

like  a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend

through quiet ways; prehaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden 

shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music, 

perhaps...perhaps...love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship,

as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath.'

~Anne of Avonlea

Who is Ziggylonster?

    Ziggylonster, as you can see from the description above, was a creature concocted by my 4 year old daughter, Colette, and my husband Gabe.  As of right now, the only description I will give of him is that he is soooo tall that he has to duck to go under bridges.
   However, I think Ziggylonster has a deeper meaning.  I think Ziggylonster is the craziness that can occur in this household.  With three children under the age of 5, I don't think there is such a thing as not crazy.  So, the new normal is Ziggylonster.  That is the name we gave our particular crazy.
   Why, only last week, my 2 year old, Madelynn, launched a hard plastic twisty straw, with a plastic monkey attached to it, at my eye.  Needless to say, there was much swelling (not to mention screaming and a few choice words).  Now my eye is a lovely shade of black, blue, and a hint of red. 

All I can say is that Ziggylonster might be to blame.

I haven't yet mentioned my third child, David, is is only a mere 15 months old.  He is a forced to be reckoned with and as soon as he started walking, he decided running was a much better way to get around.

In the next couple of blog posts, whenever they may be, I will give you a low down on each child.  Who knows, maybe a little of the Golly (Gabe/Holly) history.